Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Novus Dignus Maximum -- Maximum News Worthy

- To my knowledge, we still have a war going on. Some of you agree with that war, some of you do not.
- Health care reform is on the plate with heated opposition on both sides of the line.
- Tax hikes are a good possibility for most, and an almost absolute for some.
- Crime is still crime -- ugly, present and unavoidable.
- Social Security matters are being overshadowed by seemingly more serious issues and our educational system is still in the sewers of yesteryear.

But you know what folks? We have bigger issues at the moment that need, no, they demand the full attention of our news mediums for an early morning headliner -- Donald and Shirley Ross were held up for 15 minutes because they didn't wear their seat belts.

For Pete's sake, seriously? This is the topic at hand? I'd rather watch another full-day of Michael Jackson filler with 35 minute infomercials about the latest foot-scrub from Europe than to waste my time trying to concern myself with why two people who should have buckled up like the law dictates try and get out of a ticket by turning it into a media fiasco.
Did anyone else read into every detail they could find about this to get to the truth? I tried to, not out of sincere interest in their plight, but to satisfy my curiosity as to why in the world this would make such a blockbuster of a story.

Truth be told, and I don't believe it has been, I genuinely believe the accused to be at fault for the seat belt violation. Here's why:
1. First and foremost, traffic law requires the use of seat belts in all 50 states, period, no exceptions save for the few that did not apply in this instance.
2. From what I have learned in my own past experiences, a police officer isn't going to hand out 5 tickets for negligent adherence to a seat belt law to an elderly family, unless someone in the vehicle got wise and pulled out the famous: "Ain't you got something better to do than to harass us?" Smart-assed is as smart-assed does.
3. The reports I've studied also say that they were detained (they make it sound so cut-throat and violating) for a total of 15 minutes and it caused them to miss the burial. Now, if they were in the funeral procession at the time they were pulled over, then how in the world did they miss the burial unless the person behind the wheel of the Hearse was a former Formula 1 driver who was taking curves sideways and 95mph, slid into the cemetery with the rear door open, allowed centrifugal force to throw out the casket and land perfectly into the grave while a front-end loader had a bucket of dirt waiting overhead to be dumped in as soon as the coffin hit the bottom. I can picture a guy with a stopwatch timing all this, sporting a smile as his "pit crew" broke yet another record in the Spokane 500 Body Burial Cup.

I don't often quote a comedian, especially ones that are extreme in their politics as far as left vs. right, but I feel this fits perfectly...

"The problem with common sense, is that people think it's common."
~Dennis Miller

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